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This past week I was watching a Pre-Code Hollywood film called “Dinner a Eight”. The film includes many side stories that intertwine with one another through the interactions of the characters. One side story involved an extramarital affair between gold digger Kitty Packard and Dr. Talbot. Dr. Talbot’s wife, Mrs. Lucy Talbot, finds out about the affair and confronts her husband about it. Mrs. Lucy comments on the world of difference between her husband’s external respectability as a physician and his private, immoral life as a philanderer:

“The noble young physician…was just a masher…You’re two people really. One’s magnificent and the other is so shoddy.”


Humans are complicated creatures, contradictory yet complete. The same individual can be both kind and cruel, generous and stingy, prideful and humble. More than any other religion, Filianism has taken the complex condition of my soul and spelled it out to me through the simple concept of the true and false self.

I have a very fragmented sense of self. In my own life, I feel constantly torn between what I am materially attracted to and what I know is more spiritually beneficial. One of the most externally visible issues I have struggled for some time now with the concept of modesty. Different religions call for different approaches to modesty, but what is modesty for myself as a Filyani? I feel very attracted to modest dress like the Muslim ladies wear and have a strong desire to wear full head coverings. But then I become afraid. I look at all the beautiful clothing in my closet, clothing with short sleeves and above the knee hemlines. I don’t want to give these things up, and indeed I even have a materialistic problem of buying more and more clothing and accessories to create more and more outfits. I love glamour (think Old Hollywood), but I also love simplicity and modesty. Yet I am actually afraid of placing restrictions on myself, even though I know that it would be spiritually beneficial for me to do so, because I am afraid that I cannot fully commit to the new restriction. On this matter, the Filianic Scriptures say:

11. Therefore it is not to limit life that the ways of khear shall be avoided; 12. for the khear that seems light shall be seen as a pit of darkness when the true light shines, and the khear that seems pleasure a tasteless emptiness from which the soul would find escape and cannot, 13. for the khear that had seemed freedom shall become a fetter and a chain. (The Three Loves, The Filianic Scriptures: New Celestial Union Version)

111In Filianism, the true and false self is divided by khear, a concept which is familiar to the Buddhist and Christian ideas of dukkha and sin. As best stated by Miss Myriam Hilldotter in her post “Who Am I? Spirit and Soul”:

“In the Deanic/Filianic tradition khear is that which keeps us separate from the Divine.”

More often than not, we as imperfect beings have difficulty discerning between our true and false self. We cannot understand our imperfect condition and the world around us by only focusing on our true self or believing that our false self is non-existent. The Daughter warns against this mindset in the Filianic Scriptures by saying:

13. Oh, do not say that you are perfect, for then you can not understand either the world or your own selves. 14. Do not say that you are innocent, for that would be to mock My suffering. (The Secret of the World, The Filianic Scriptures: New Celestial Union Version)


At the same time, in our secular society many do not know there is a difference between their true and false self and so mistakenly attribute negative behaviours and beliefs to innate nature. In reality, these negative qualities are manifestations of the false self. The false self is an aberration of nature and distances the soul from Divine Light, which is the true nature of all of creation. As stated in the Filianic Scriptures:

1. My children, even as your souls are at once whole and also riven through with khear, so when each of you speaks of herself, she must know that her selves are not one but two. 2. For the false self loves all that is not whole and all the falsehoods of this world. 3. It is the false self that seeks advantage and that is bound by all desires of earth. 4. The true self knows but one desire, and that is the desire of the Spirit and of oneness with the Divine, for that is the only true desire. 5. Yet the true self also loves this earth; but loves it for that it is an image of the Divine. (The Three Loves, The Filianic Scriptures: New Celestial Union Version)

And on a final note:

“10. And every turning from the One Light to a lesser light is in truth a step toward the darkness.”

(The Three Loves, The Filianic Scriptures: New Celestial Union Version)

Through our thoughts and actions, are we moving closer or further away from Dea, the One Light and the One Truth?

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